After a tough day at the office – a wicked beating from ‘Assassin’ Phillipe Nover – Dave Kaplan needs a drink. Many drinks, apparently, and like Junie Browning before him, Kaplan causes chaos at The Ultimate Fighter house.
Donning his trademark black Speedo, Kaplan scampers through the TUF house, from kitchen to hot tub, loudly testifying that thanks to his granite chin, he’ll never experience the dizzy blackness of a knockout. Fueled on machismo and vodka, the lightweight bruiser persuades his fifty-pound heavier drinking partner Tom Lawlor to hammer him in the chin to test its steel.
Lawlor, after shrugging off some reservations, cocks and unloads a right cross that switches off Kaplan’s light. Kaplan lies like a grappling dummy on a pile of dirty laundry as a concerned Lawlor tries to slap his wits back into him.
Mercifully, Kaplan is for the most part okay, except for a sore jaw and sorer ego. He explains that while Lawlor punches hard-as-hell, he was never out. Kaplan might actually believe this, often fighters, after having their brain bounce off the back of their skull have a slight case of amnesia and forget about their nappy time. He’ll figure things out when he catches an airing of this episode.
Nogueira vs. Mir
As per tradition on The Ultimate Fighter, this week the coaches participate in a ‘Coaches’ Challenge’ orchestrated by UFC Head Honcho Dana White to boost morale of the fighters, but mostly for his own amusement.
White drives both teams out to a soccer field where the coaches will compete in a shoot-out challenge; the winning coach earns $10,000 for himself and $1,000 each for his stable of fighters, first to 10 wins. Mir protests: Nogueira is Brazilian, soccer’s in his blood.
But Nog appears more tentative about the contest. He’s never played soccer. He’s the worst soccer player in all Brazil, he claims.
That’s enough to defeat Mir as Nogueira takes the game 10-6. Mir, who boasts he’s a greater athlete than Nogueira in every way, doesn’t’ show much spirit in goal, barely moving side-to-side to save the kicks. Maybe Big Nog should note this in his scouting on Mir: lazy.
Krzysztof vs. Kyle
In a prior episode, when Mir intensified his team’s training, Krzysztof Soszynski injured his thumb rolling. Believed fractured, Mir calls in Don House, a boxing expert, to examine the thumb and teach the veteran of 27 fights striking techniques to minimize damage to the afflicted digit. In between grappling sessions with his Team Quest coach, two-time PRIDE FC title-holder Dan Henderson, visiting the TUF training facility to help prepare his student, he keeps his hand on ice.
Krzysztof says he feels the pressure with his fight against Kyle Kingsbury approaching – the first pick, team’s are tied 3-3, he’s a striker with a busted hand.
Kyle and Coach Nogueira put together a solid game plan to neutralize Krzysztof’s standup. At the onset of the fight, he locks Krzysztof in a sort of Greco-Roman tie-up and works the knees. Kyle accidentally lands a few low blows and the ref stops the action.
When the fight restarts, immediately, Kyle clinches, taking Krzysztof’s hands away from him again. Executing his strategy perfectly, Kyle shoots, lifts, and drops the striker on his back. Kyle has his opportunity, but the former pro wrestler slips out the backdoor and snatches Kyle in straight arm-bar. Another fight on TUF season eight finishes in the first round.
If you missed episode 8, read about it here
Chris Capozzi - null
